Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Mordechai Rottman - Part 8
alive than her husband seems to be, and they seem to have so much more fun, that she starts to get frustrated in the relationship. And of course, the more she focuses on what she doesn’t like about him, the more she starts to think that she married the wrong person. And this begins to build and build and build, until one day she thinks — I really married the wrong guy. I’m stifled in this relationship. — And who knows what could happen from that point on. Until we take this woman and say — Madam, stop, just for a moment. What did you like about him? Why did you marry him? — And she says — well, he’s so reliable, so consistent, so dependable. — Right. — And did you ever think for a minute that perhaps the very part of the personality that you like is also the part of the personality that you don’t like. It’s just surfacing in a different area of life.
You can’t have everything. People’s personalities have two sides to them. And these two sides are expressed differently depending on what the situation might be. You don’t have to worry about your husband speaking with other women. He is very realizable. He is very consistent. You want to marry somebody who is a lot more fun, a lot more alive? Who knows, you may find somebody who’s flirting with women, that would make you very angry that he’s speaking to. When you look at your husband you have to say — Hey, this is my guy. He’s got what I like and what he doesn’t have I really also like. It’s just this particular situation I would prefer to be different but I’d rather have his advantages than his disadvantages.
Let’s take another case. We’ll turn it around this time. A guy grows up in a home where his parents are hard working people, but he himself is a little philosopher and then a bigger philosopher as he grows up. And he likes to have really deep meaningful discussions with people. And of course, you know, his mother is there. She’s consistent, reliable, dependable, but whenever you try to speak to her about anything other than chocolate cake and pudding, she just doesn’t seem to be able to engage in the conversation. And he’s looking for that deep conversation with someone, really deep, meaningful, and he finds it one day. On the college campus he finds the girl who basically can hold her own in his most wild philosophical adventures. And they sit there for hours speaking about this and that, and he can’t believe the type of connection that he feels with her, and this intellectual plane which he never thought he could find in a woman. And they get married. And of course, he comes home from work, and after a while he begins to realize that she’s not doing too much around the house. When he comes home he seems to see her always curled up on the couch reading the latest book on some new way of looking at the world. And you know, he’s hungry, he needs to eat. He remembers that when his Dad came home there was always dinner on the table. There just wasn’t a question. But there again, his mother lived in a rather simple world. She wasn’t involved in the intellectual spheres that his wife is involved in, so it was easier for her to get dinner ready. She didn’t have too much else to do. The wife that he married, who he enjoys speaking to
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