Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Mordechai Rottman - Part 5
Number Two – Common GoalsThe second thing is common goals. Common goals means that you both share, more or less, the same aspirations. Think of life like a journey. Think of life as a trip. You’re going on this journey and you have to decide whether you’re going North, West, East or South. And your spouse is also going on a journey. Everyone is going on a journey, whether they like it or not. Nobody has the option of staying still. Of course, there are some people who let life happen to them, go wherever they may go. And there are some people who try to make life happen for them, which means they choose a direction and then try to get there. And you have a direction, you know where you want to go. Does the person that you want to marry, do they want to go in the same direction? If you want to go East and she wants to go West, you can’t go together. And you know what? Even if she’s a kind person you can’t go together. So directions have to be similar. Because if not, it is impossible for both of you to share your life together.
You may say — Well, I have my direction and she’s sort of open. She doesn’t really have any goals. — Oh, beware. Beware of people who don’t have goals. First of all it’s a sign of a lot of immaturity when people don’t have goals, because then people are not taking responsibility for their lives. People are not thinking about where they want to end up. They’re just willing to let the wind blow them here or there like a leaf falling off a tree, then that’s not a good sign at all. You certainly don’t want to marry someone who lacks that minimal amount of responsibility to choose a direction for themselves in life. And besides that, what happens if in a few years they wake up and they do decide to have a direction, and suddenly they realize that… you know what… they don’t want your direction at all. So don’t go out with someone who doesn’t have a direction. Let them grow up first and then decide whether or not your goals are compatible. Because a person who has no goals lacks self knowledge. Before you get married you need to have a reasonable amount of self knowledge. Obviously this is crucial before any serious goal can be set.
What do I mean by self knowledge? I mean knowing what’s really important to you. One of the reasons why intermarriages, besides being forbidden by Torah law, are prone to failure, is due to this lack of self knowledge. These couples are not aware of what’s really and truly important to them until something big happens like a child is born. It’s only at that point that people will start to get in touch with the things that they really care about. And suddenly they may find themselves diametrically opposed as to how to raise this child. Imagine two people riding in a car that runs out of gas. So one person gets out and starts pushing from the front of the car and the other one gets out and starts pushing from the back of the car. Well, what’s probably going to happen is that the car will end up going round in circles. It’s certainly not going to get very far. This is what
Get The Ring |
The Speakers |
Warm Wisdom Press
Copyright © 2012 Warm Wisdom Press
Our products come with an Unconditional Money-back Guarantee.
Our Privacy Guarantee: Your information is private. Your transactions are secure.