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Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life. Rabbi Rottman - Part 16 gym to work out and the trainer tells you — Okay, I want you to start with 12 pushups. So you get down on the floor and you manage to do five and you go — Aaahhh! Not 12, let’s do 7. And the guy says — No, you need to do 12. So let’s say you finally convince the trainer after a long argument and he lets you do the 7. Are you going to develop that way? Are you going to get what you want that way? No. You’ve adjusted the exercises to meet how hard you want to work. That’s not necessarily going to work. That’s not the way people grow. For physical beings to develop they need to do things which are going to stress them out a bit physically, and it may hurt a bit too at first. Emotionally it’s the same thing. It hurts to change. It’s like stretching your personality. Imagine stretching a rubber band. You hear the shriek as you do things that you don’t want to do, as you listen when you don’t want to listen, as you express your feelings when you don’t want to express them, as you give encouragement when you want to yell and scream. But when you do it a few times, suddenly you became more elastic, you became more flexible, you became more humble, and you became a better spouse.
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