Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Mordechai Rottman - Part 14
yourself — Tell me how you felt today. Tell me about your ups and your downs. Make me a part of your life. Don’t give me this external superficiality that you give the rest of the world. I want to be a part of your inner world, the woman is saying. I want you to express your feelings to me. I want to feel close to you.
A little scary isn’t it? For some men to hear this it’s definitely scary. Why? Because men focus sometimes much better in the external world of just doing things. Emotions? They’re not that necessary are they? Well, it’s necessary. It’s necessary for a woman to hear how you feel. Just tell her — Well, I got on the train and people were pushing me — and she’ll say — Yeah? Was it hard? And you’ll say — Yeah it was pretty hard. And you’re thinking — Okay, if this is what she wants to hear, okay. But you’re sharing your day with her. Again, you’re not telling her what you did, you’re telling her how you felt about what you did. Learn how to do this.
With guys? Not only don’t you do it when you talk to guys, but they don’t appreciate it either. Don’t tell me how you feel, I don’t care how you feel. Just tell me, how much money did you make today. Women want to know how you feel. So that’s my advice for men. It’s to work on expressing your feelings. Again, if you can’t do it verbally then write it down on a piece of paper. Take the time to pick up a card. Don’t think that just because you bought her a birthday present over half a year ago and you wrote in the card that you love her, that therefore she doesn’t have to hear that again. I mean, I told you half a year ago that I love you. I told you I love you. I even bought you an expensive present. That proves that I love you. No, no, no. A woman needs to feel constantly a part of her husband’s life, constantly a part of his emotional ups and downs and this gives her the feeling of closeness that she craves.
So men need to work on expressing their emotions, even if it’s a little unnatural at first, because that’s what their wives need. How about women? What’s their assignment?
What do women need to work on the most? Because women are so good at expressing feelings, when they get frustrated they do that pretty well too. Many times they fall into the mode of criticizing instead of encouraging. So when something isn’t going the way she wants it because she’s frustrated because of one thing and the other, a woman will start to complain. Many times she’ll start to complain about something which really has nothing to do with what she really cares about. But she’s just feeling that way, and so she’ll start to complain almost about anything and everything. Does this work? No. It doesn’t work at all because what she’s craving is the closeness, the emotional closeness, and what she’s getting is withdrawal. Imagine a turtle, if it suddenly
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