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Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life. Rabbi Rottman - Part 11 relationship. These are in depth, brilliant laws that understand the psychology of man and woman, which are well worth a Jewish couple keeping. One needs to be realistic when choosing a partner in life, certainly in the area of looks. Ultimately what will carry the relationship through is not going to be just looks. It’s going to be whether or not you’re going to work on loving each other, meaning giving to each other for the sake of giving, caring for each other for the sake of caring, appreciating each other’s personalities for the sake of caring about the person, being open minded, objective.
HumilityIs there anything that we can do that can sort of help us making these ideas a part of ourselves? I mean, intellectually we do understand that these ideals are real and that they can help us find the right person, living a happy life together after we find that, after we get married. But is there anything that we could work on to make these ideas really take hold? Well there is. This isn’t necessarily easy, but it works. It’s called being humble. Being humble means knowing that ultimately what we have is from God. We’re not that great. We owe a lot too. And therefore we’re willing to settle. We’re willing to settle for another person whose looks may not be exactly what we want. We’re willing to settle for another person whose personality may not be exactly what we want. We’re willing to settle because we’re not perfect ourselves. And it’s only when one thinks the world of himself that he expects the world from others.That’s a sobering point. Now let’s assume we’ve made our way through the four points on the check list. We’ve found a partner who is kind, meaning that they are giving to give, not giving to take, and who shares our goals. We’ve learned to appreciate their total personality, the good with the bad. And we’re happy with the way they look even if they don’t match up with our favorite movie star. The wedding comes and goes and we’re a couple. Is there anything else we need to know to make this relationship work? Differences Between Men and Women And now you have to start to build your marriage together. You find that men and women are different. They’re like two different nations. So as compatible as you are and as many things as you share in common, you suddenly seem to find yourselves at odds with each other. The fact that men and women are different is something which has been verified scientifically. Magnetic resonance images of men and women doing the same task show that men use one side of their brain while women use both sides of their brain. Other studies as well have proven clinically that men and women are really not the same, and not just physically. And so with all the compatibility, we need to be able to now work actively on |
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