Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Rosie & Sherry - Part 3
If a job hunter doesn't make the concerted effort I just described, her chances of receiving a great job offer are next to non-existent. Most employers don't walk up to strangers out of the blue and offer them wonderful jobs. And there are a few people who are lucky enough to be in an up and coming profession, that gets unsolicited job offers all the time. However, even they know that the recipient of those offers still has to go through interviews and mesh with a prospective employer's expectations about personality and job technical experience, just like any other job candidate.
Spouse hunting is very much like job hunting.
Hold on a minute. If I can interrupt here. Who said anything about spouse hunting? We're just talking about how to find a good date. Aren't you jumping the gun a little bit?
Well, we are not trying to turn a talk about blind dates into a marriage contract. However, the fact that you're listening to this attests to the fact that you would like to have a meaningful relationship with someone. Since Rosie and I are in the business of helping Jewish men and women form healthy and happy relationships that lead to marriage, we encourage our listeners to think in terms of marriage when they look for a meaningful relationship. If such a relationship is important to you, we recommend you work toward the goal of ultimate marriage with just as concerted an effort as you were going to use if you were trying to obtain a job. Think about how a job hunter networks and apply it to your personal life. You have friends, they have spouses; you have relatives, co-workers, neighbors, members of your synagogue, men and women you have become acquainted with when you worked on a community project, or whom you meet at the gym. All of these people can make up your network. What do you tell them? If you were looking for a job, you'd tell them your qualifications. You would describe what you're looking for and you would ask them to help you in your job search by keeping you in mind when they hear about something in your field. Well, you have to follow the same approach when you're looking for an appropriate dating partner. Ask your social network to help you by keeping you in mind when they meet or hear about someone who might be right for you. Of course, they are going to need to know something about your best qualities as well as your values and your goals, so you should describe them briefly. Give them an idea about some of the qualities you would like to see in a dating partner. That way you'll spend a lot less time worrying that you're going to be set up with somebody simply because she is tall and wears a skirt and you are tall and wear pants.
An acquaintance of ours followed this advice several years ago. She decided she was going to get married within the year, and she asked everyone she knew to help her find an appropriate person to meet. Once, she was at a gym class and
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