a few topics are going to come naturally. And you can save some other of these questions for another time. You may want to ask — Who do you most admire? How did they inspire you? — Or — What has been the most satisfying achievement of your life? — Or you can ask — Is there something that you've dreamed about doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? — And of course, with each of these you can add your own information about yourself. Another good question asks — What is your most treasured possession, and why? — One of the top questions might be a little better for a later date — Where do you see yourself ten years from now? What would you like to do on the way of getting there? — You can brainstorm with your friend to think of other questions that might be good to ask. Try to use them as a springboard for more conversation. If your date, for example, talks about her admiration for a relative who has a certain accomplishment, ask her what it was like for her to have this kind of relative. Maybe they were an iconoclast or they seemed to be ahead of their time. Ask her how she felt and you will learn a little bit about her. It will also show her something very important; it will show that you're actually interested in how she thinks and what she has to say. You have to make it a point as Rosie said, to really listen to what the other person is saying. So many times both men and women come to us with the same complaint — All of the people that we meet are so self absorbed. — We hear this time and time again. Of course, most of these people aren't that self-absorbed. But they haven't developed the technique of showing somebody else that they're really interested, that they really want to hear what they have to say and they really want to learn about them. It's a technique that all of us could develop.

What do you recommend doing on a first date? How about the time frame? So do you meet for just a couple of hours or would a longer date give you more of a basis to decide whether to continue?

We suggest that you don't stretch out that first date too long. How much conversation can two people keep going when they are meeting for the first time? Conversely, how are men and women going to get to know each other if they spend most of their evening watching a movie or trying to dance in a noisy club? Frankly, we think that the ideal first date should last between two and two and a half hours and should give two people an opportunity to talk for a while in a pleasant and relatively quiet atmosphere. We suggest to many people that they take their date out for a good cup of coffee and some dessert, followed by or preceded by a walk through a botanical garden, a visit to a museum exhibit or a picturesque section of the city. This gives two people a good opportunity to talk and to learn about each other. We think that the better time for a four course dinner or a long date that includes a concert and a movie is the second date or even the third date. However, we realize that there are certain social expectations in many circles. If a man doesn't take a woman out for a very costly