Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Lawrence Kelemen - Part 6
All right. Now we know you're ready to get married when you're ready to give to somebody else. Do you have any other specific advice for men and women before tying the knot?
Advice for MenWhat do we men specifically need to know before they can get married? So there's a natural feeling that guys have that the best years of their life are coming to a conclusion under the marriage canopy. They're getting tied down, the adventure's over. Guys like to be cowboys, we like to ride around, have a fun time, go on adventures. Now I'm committing to living with a woman for the rest of my life, and that not only limits the sexual adventure that I'll be involved in, but it limits the adventures in all parts of my life. I'm becoming domesticated. I'm going to be taking care of somebody forever. And that's frightening. What we men have to realize, though, is that getting married is the portal to real greatness. We've seen the statistics that the men who are married, they earn higher salaries on average, they live healthier lives on average, they experience higher levels of happiness, job satisfaction, personal satisfaction. So even though it seems that the best days of our lives are passing as we get married, it's an illusion. And the reality is that the best days are just beginning. Even in terms of one's intimate life, while it's true that single men have far more sexual partners, but married men have sex far more often. So say the statistics. So in all ways we men have a much better deal after we get married. And therefore, even though there is a certain amount of hesitance, we should know that it's worth moving forward.
There's one other major source of hesitance that we men have and that is, there's this feeling that maybe there's somebody better around the corner, and if I just wait, that I'll get somebody better than this girl. Of course, that's a completely destructive attitude because if that's my attitude I'll never get married. And each girl that I date, who might be a gem, will eventually give up on me and leave because they realize that I won't commit. Ultimately I end up living alone and that's no life.
How about a word of advice for women contemplating marriage.
Advice for WomenSo one of the most important things for women to know is that, while in the old days it was common that a man and a woman from the same village would marry, and they basically knew who the other was almost even before they met because they were coming from such similar backgrounds. So today that's not the case. We come from a very broad and rich melting pot, and people have widely varying backgrounds. People have widely varying emotional profiles, spiritual profiles, psychological profiles, intellectual profiles. And you can't count
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