Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Shimon Green - Part 2
And when a person wants to get married, ironically… and this you’ll see the reason why people are so dissatisfied, why people have such difficulty in starting a relationship, or making a relationship, or maintaining a relationship, because they’re so intent upon getting something for themselves.
You know the expression: “the honeymoon is over”? Isn’t that amazing? When you see a repeating pattern it tells you something. What’s this? The honeymoon is over? What can that be? Why would it be that again and again people say they are in love and then it will disappear. What is this? Well, you know, you get used to it. What is that human nature? What is going on with that exactly -- again and again the same thing. I mentioned the other night, and it’s really true, I grew up in the era of sitcoms, and many of them were marital sitcoms, and I hate them. [Imitation of a sitcom – a man speaking about his wife in a degrading manner.] They’re not funny, not one drop. Do you realize that? They’re not funny at all. They’re sick. They’re painful. They’re about as funny as the Three Stooges beating each other up. It's the same sadism. Isn’t that horrible? It’s amazing.
What is all that? If you take a look and you’ll see that… the reason why the honeymoon is over, you’ll see a pattern why that happens, because what happens is that when a man and woman for some reason want to attract each other, what they start to do subconsciously, they don’t realize it, is that they start to be nice. They start to do something and show a good side and care for another person. And what they don’t realize is, that what felt so good about the courting time was not that they were receiving something from someone else. You’re going to flip. You know what’s so great about the courting time? They were giving something to someone else because they were busy trying to be beautiful, they were busy trying to be really nice. I hope I’m communicating. So they’re confused. They think that what happened during the courting time of their honeymoon was, they were getting something really good and then it disappeared. "The honeymoon is over." And the flip out is it’s exactly the opposite. What happened was, for once in their life they were a little bit unselfish. They felt great because they were doing something actually nice for somebody else. Isn’t that a freak out? And then they forget what it is. Then the honeymoon is over. They keep pushing the button — how come nobody’s giving me anything? You’re making a mistake. That wasn’t why you felt good. You felt good because you were giving something to somebody else. There you were, you know, courteous, sending gifts, open the door. Whatever their story was. Now it’s exactly the opposite. And that’s why all these poor wretches get miserable after a little while. All they had to do was keep it going. They just had to keep on doing exactly what they were doing before.
So here’s the story. If you want to get married and you want to know what to look for, the real truth is… I said I’ve been married most of my life. So what I’m
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