Introduction

Rabbi Shimon Green is Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Bircas HaTorah in the Jewish Quarter of the Old City in Jerusalem, a yeshiva for learning professionals that specializes in programs for mature students. Rabbi Green also gives numerous lectures throughout the United States. His presentations are famous for their depth, clarity, humor and inspiration. He also draws on his musical talent to express and communicate his profound love of Jews, God and Judaism. Rabbi Green can be contacted via the website at www.bircas.org.

In the following, deeply emotional presentation, Rabbi Green will reveal the essence of a successful marital relationship in a most powerful and original manner.

Rabbi Green

So the first question that people want to know is, are they’re ready to get married? The question really is silly. If you’re a mature human being, you’re ready to get married in terms of your needs. Are you prepared to get married? That’s a different story. And our society doesn’t necessarily prepare us for marriage these days, and that’s because it’s just gotten weird, that’s all. Most of the heroes in today’s society are single. They have no responsibilities, and they get places without having earned them. That’s the wishful thinking. But you know, it doesn’t really satisfy.

But if you’re a grown human being, you should be ready to get married. The reasons why people aren’t ready to get married are the following.

If you ever take a look and see what things have been the most wonderful things in your life and what things are the worst, you’ll find that the worst things in your life are being selfish. And the most wonderful things in your life are being kind and generous and unselfish. Everybody knows that. The loftier you are the better you feel. Everybody feels that way. When you’re busy taking care of yourself all the time, you get sick of yourself and you hate yourself. When I look around my house I get sick all the time because I have whole drawers full of things just for myself. I have drawers full of things to put on my face, in my mouth, on my body. I’ve got paste and lotion and I’ve got clothes and shirts, and all these things. More things about me, me, me, me… The more I look, I feel like I'm going to puke and say I want get the heck out of there. It’s not really that interesting. Americans are particularly full of themselves. I’m one so I can say it. I’m no friend of Europeans either, but Europeans like to make fun of Americans. One famous European writer said, Americans believe that if they just dig deep enough they’ll probably find something interesting about themselves. Americans are quite self-focused. But you’ll see that the more that you’re focused on yourself, the less satisfied that you are. And you’ll find that the more you’re focused outwards, the more satisfied that you are.