Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Dov Heller - Part 12
So when you ask these four questions, you must get answers. And I think the answers must be é¥³! If you come up with an answer, if you ask these four questions and your answer to yourself is é’ not sure, or I donà«®ow, then make sure you keep evaluating it and analyzing the questions and your feelings until you understand what you really feel. Ultimately you must be sure that the answer is absolutely yes. Yes, I respect and admire this person. Yes, I trust this person. Yes, I feel safe with this person. Yes, I feel calm and at peace with this person. I believe that if people would have checked themselves out in this deeper emotional way, that they would avoid making the types of serious mistakes that they make when they choose a life partner. And hereà¡ principle that goes along with this point. How you feel when youå ¤ating a person is how youå §oing to feel when youå arried to this person. If you donà¦¥el safe now while youå ¤ating the person, you probably wonà¦¥el safe when youå arried to them. If you donà¦¥el you can trust them now, then youå ®ot going to feel trust when youå arried to them. How you feel when youå ¤ating is how youå §oing to feel when youå arried. So yes, Ià§¯ing to sound like your typical psychotherapist, but please, I mean it in all seriousness, be in touch with your feelings. You must know what you feel about the person. Again, that doesnà¥an the chemistry and the buzz. Those are not the types of feelings that Ià´¡lking about. You must ask yourself the questions that I suggested to get in touch with the deeper feelings that you have about the person.
The theme that I sense keeps coming through is the importance of genuinely being in touch with what we ourselves are looking for, and objectively analyzing whether our potential partner fits into that picture. What else should we be alert to in this budding relationship?
Reason Number Seven å¯tional Anxiety
The seventh reason why people marry the wrong person is that they tend to choose someone with whom they donà¦¥el emotionally safe. Feeling emotionally safe is, again, a foundation of any healthy and solid relationship in psychological terms. A person who doesnà¦¥el safe with another person is someone who feels that they canà¥¸press their feelings and their opinions. A colleague of mine gave me a great definition of an abusive relationship. An abusive relationshipá®¤ I might add that an abusive relationship would be the appropriate way of talking about not feeling safeá® abusive relationship is one in which one person feels afraid to express their feelings and opinions. If youå ·ith someone and you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if youå ·ith someone and you feel you canà²¥ally express yourself, if youå ·ith someone and you feel youå
Get The Ring |
The Speakers |
Warm Wisdom Press
Copyright © 2012 Warm Wisdom Press
Our products come with an Unconditional Money-back Guarantee.
Our Privacy Guarantee: Your information is private. Your transactions are secure.