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Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Dov Heller - Part 10



of view or a moralistic point of view. Rather, I want to talk about it for very practical reasons.

When people are sexually active too quickly, it tends to be confusing. People have a much more difficult time focusing on important areas like character and life philosophy. When you堢een involved with someone sexually, it tends to make it more difficult to start thinking about these more important issues. It hinders your objectivity and you tend to romanticize the relationship. And this is something that you canࡦford to do. And sometimes it even makes it difficult for people to face these issues because once they堭ade this level of commitment, they堡fraid to bring up issues. After all, we堢een living together, we堢een sleeping together. How can I possibly think about questioning the person଩fe goals at this point, or questioning their character? I mean, you slept with me, now you報uestioning my character? It gets a little messy doesnੴ. So, for practical reasons, I suggest you hold off on sexual involvement. And hereࡠprinciple that I suggest you consider. If indeed you do plan to be sexually involved with someone, I suggest that you do it only after you堩ntellectually committed first. Be intellectually committed before you become emotionally committed or sexually committed. In other words, what do I mean by intellectually committed? I mean, make sure that you堤one your homework. Make sure that you堲eally, really thought through the relationship and gone through all the points that Iഡlking about, at least, and you have reached the conclusion that I am solidly, intellectually secure that this is the right person; that this is the person I want to spend my life with. When you堩ntellectually committed, then if you consider being sexually involved, perhaps the potential dangers are minimized at that point. Again, personally itயt my value system. I really donࢥlieve that sexual involvement helps in making a decision, it does not. People often think that sexual compatibility is an important issue to find out about before you堭arried. If one looks at the research done on divorce and the reasons for divorce, sexual compatibility is not one of the main reasons why people get divorced. Sexual incompatibility is often the symptom of more fundamental problems within the relationship.

That࡮ interesting statistic that most people are probably not aware of. All right. We場ouched on five reasons why people make faulty decisions in choosing a marriage partner. What஥xt?

Reason Number Six ì¡£k of Emotional Connection

Right. Let৯ on to number six. The sixth reason why people marry the wrong person is that you donਡve a deep emotional connection with the person. Now you may be asking yourself 请 could I expect to have a deep emotional connection with someone while Iडting? The truth of the matter is that you



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