When people are sexually active too quickly, it tends to be confusing. People have a much more difficult time focusing on important areas like character and life philosophy. When you’ve been involved with someone sexually, it tends to make it more difficult to start thinking about these more important issues. It hinders your objectivity and you tend to romanticize the relationship. And this is something that you can’t afford to do. And sometimes it even makes it difficult for people to face these issues because once they’ve made this level of commitment, they’re afraid to bring up issues. After all, we’ve been living together, we’ve been sleeping together. How can I possibly think about questioning the person’s life goals at this point, or questioning their character? I mean, you slept with me, now you’re questioning my character? It gets a little messy doesn’t it. So, for practical reasons, I suggest you hold off on sexual involvement. And here’s a principle that I suggest you consider. If indeed you do plan to be sexually involved with someone, I suggest that you do it only after you’re intellectually committed first. Be intellectually committed before you become emotionally committed or sexually committed. In other words, what do I mean by intellectually committed? I mean, make sure that you’ve done your homework. Make sure that you’ve really, really thought through the relationship and gone through all the points that I’m talking about, at least, and you have reached the conclusion that I am solidly, intellectually secure that this is the right person; that this is the person I want to spend my life with. When you’re intellectually committed, then if you consider being sexually involved, perhaps the potential dangers are minimized at that point. Again, personally it’s not my value system. I really don’t believe that sexual involvement helps in making a decision, it does not. People often think that sexual compatibility is an important issue to find out about before you’re married. If one looks at the research done on divorce and the reasons for divorce, sexual compatibility is not one of the main reasons why people get divorced. Sexual incompatibility is often the symptom of more fundamental problems within the relationship.

That’s an interesting statistic that most people are probably not aware of. All right. We’ve touched on five reasons why people make faulty decisions in choosing a marriage partner. What’s next?

Reason Number Six – Lack of Emotional Connection

Right. Let’s go on to number six. The sixth reason why people marry the wrong person is that you don’t have a deep emotional connection with the person. Now you may be asking yourself — How could I expect to have a deep emotional connection with someone while I’m dating? The truth of the matter is that you