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Focus on Chemistry - Way 2

Focus on Chemistry - Way 2

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Way Number 2:
They focus on chemistry, not on character.

People pick the wrong person because they're in love. Before you start protesting, stop and think for a minute. Take a good, hard look at yourself, as well as those you know who are currently part of the "dating scene." All too often, when people say, "I'm in love" what they really mean, whether consciously or not, is that "I'm in lust." They make the fatal mistake of focusing more on chemistry than on character.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that chemistry is unimportant. But it definitely takes a back seat to character, for a number of reasons.

First of all, the rule is that "chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning." Even if you are seriously attracted to this person, the relationship will have no future if you don't genuinely like them and appreciate them for who they are inside.

Secondly, physical profiles change, especially with age. If the relationship is only skin-deep (literally), then it will peter out if and when the person's external appearance undergoes significant (or even insignificant) changes. Therefore, even if attraction is there, you owe it to yourself and to the person you're dating to carefully check out their character.

Easier said than done, you're thinking. Well, truth to tell, it's really not that hard.

Here are four character traits you should definitely be on the lookout for:

Is this person willing to subdue their own personal wants, desires, dreams and especially their ego, in order to do what's right and not just what's comfortable?

Is this person someone who wants to enhance other people's lives?
Are they interested in causing other people pleasure?
How do they behave towards people whom they aren't obligated to be nice to? (The waitress? Other drivers on the road? Etc.)
Are they charitable and generous with their money?
Do they greet others with a smile?
Are they willing to go out of their way to help people?

Is this person dependable?
Can I rely on them to follow through?
Will they do things that they said they would do?

Many people make the mistake of thinking that happiness is determined by external factors. Not so. True happiness is an internal character trait that can be worked on and cultivated. Ask yourself:
Is this person happy with whom they are?
Do they like themselves?
Do they enjoy life?
Are they emotionally stable?

Some other questions that will help you soul-search in order to discover if you are concentrating on chemistry or character are: Do I admire this person?
Do I want to be more like them?
Do I want this person to bring up my children?
Would I want my child to turn out like him/her?

Think about it.

The Pretty Woman Lie | 10 Stupid Things You Shouldn't Say On a Date Quiz | Relationships Require Patience | Avoid the 5 Dating Pitfalls | The Dirty Dancing Love Lie | more articles »
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