Way Number 7:
They choose someone with whom they don't feel emotionally safe. Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person, or am I on my guard?
Do I feel free to be and express myself with this person?
Does this person cause me to feel positively or negatively about myself?
Try to think of good friends you may have who generate positive feelings similar to these. The person you marry should make you feel the same way - or better! If you are afraid of this person in any way, then get out of the relationship. If you hesitate to express yourself and you monitor what you say because you're afraid of how the other person will view it, then that's a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. Another aspect of feeing unsafe is the feeling that the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Beware of someone who is constantly trying to change you and to impose his/her opinions on you. On the other hand, don't be paranoid about this. It is relatively easy to tell the difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions," even if the one controlling is smart enough to phrase their words as suggestions. The formula goes like this: A suggestion is made for your benefit. A control statement is made for their benefit.
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